June 2012
Playing Mass Effect 2
“Joker, I’m going planet side. Feed my fish while I’m out!”
Later
“Joker, I’m home! Did you remember to feed my fish this time?”
Playing Mass Effect 2
I remember playing this for the first time and screaming “WHAT THE FUCK?!” at the beginning.
My love for you is like a truck
BERSERKER!
Would you like some making fuck
BERSERKER!
My love for you is ticking clock
BERSERKER!
Would you like to suck my cock
BERSERKER!
May 2012
A post I saw on Facebook:
sweet-oblivion:
i-like-pigeons:
“Who the hell names hurricanes and why do they give them the least threatening names? If you see on the news that hurricane Erin is blowing through, you’re like ‘Pfft. Erin? I can take that slut’. But if it’s like hurricane Dicksmasher is coming, you pack up and leave.”
dead.
I know a chick named Erin. If she was coming at me at the speed of a hurricane I...
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I’ve been trying to post pictures of my kid from the local “zoo” and my pictures from the haunted prison for the past three days and they won’t fucking post. I give up. If anyone is really interested they can go friend me on Facebook *evil glare*
I’m trying to post some pictures and they won’t post *angry glare*
Spent last night at the haunted prison in Moundsville, WV. I had a blast! Me and my friends are already planning another trip for a day tour soon and another overnight stay for next year. I am sore and still fucking beat, even after a nap. I’ll post some pictures later. Right now I’m gonna try another nap.
I’m at the former West Virginia Penitentiary getting the piss scared outta me. I honestly didn’t think it would be this creepy.
Things I Do While Playing Mass Effect
I sing Winter Wonderland while on cold hazard planets.
I’m reading about X-Men toys in my big X-Men book and I’m sad cause I don’t have all these awesome toys. Stephy wants!
PUNS! PUNS EVERYWHERE!
I changed my iPod's name to Titanic. It's syncing now.
When chemists die, they barium.
Jokes about German sausage are the wurst.
I know a guy who's addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop any time.
I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.
This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I'd never met herbivore.
I'm reading a book about anti-gravity. I just can't put it down.
I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.
They told me I had type-A blood, but it was a Type-O.
We’re going on a class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there's no pop quiz.
Did you hear about the cross-eyed teacher who lost her job because she couldn't control her pupils?
Broken pencils are pointless.
I tried to catch some fog, but I mist.
What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.
I used to be a banker, but then I lost interest.
All the toilets in New York’s police stations have been stolen. The police have nothing to go on.
I got a job at a bakery because I kneaded dough.
Haunted French pancakes give me the crêpes.
A cartoonist was found dead in his home. Details are sketchy.
The earthquake in Washington obviously was the Government's fault.
Be kind to your dentist. He has fillings, too.
I have decided that I hate 99% of the human race.
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